The Awesome Ponder Mystery Of Love…
Hello, my friends!
It’s been awhile…I apologize for that.
My mind has been else where.
I just returned home from a funeral of a really good friend of mine, who’s husband has passed away.
There is NOTHING, and I mean nothing that puts life back into perspective like a memorial service.
I watched over the last few years, this friend give of herself, like I have never seen before.
20 years!…Unselfishly taking care of her very sick husband who had Huntington’s Disease.
If you know anything about this disease, you know it is an AWEFUL path in life to ride.
By the time I meant this beautiful lady, her husband Frank had lost most of his facilities.
You would never know it by her love, attention and devotion.
She would sit by his side for hours at end…EVERYDAY FOR YEARS!
The smile never left her face…looking at him adoringly, patiently and merciful!
It would make me feel very small at times.
How could I ever gripe, complain or let’s just be real…BITCH about my life…EVER?
If the shoe was reversed, could I or would I do the same thing?
Could I give and give without ceasing?
There is a part of me, that doesn’t think I would be strong enough…
but, you never know until you are put to the test.
It did make me ponder about the “Mystery of Love”…the vastness of it’s power!
Maritere, this is for you my friend.
May GOD in his infinity mercy…lay many crowns upon your head, one day!
Friends, remember you are loved…
Living with HD is hard. I know I’m only 23 years old, but the majority of my life consists of a battle between depression, anxiety, and reality.
I knew that I was going to test positive. In some ways it was a relief because I had an explanation for my bouts of insanity. In more ways, it was a nightmare. A nightmare that lived and breathed through me and my family.
My mother is my life, and watching her turn into someone I don’t know causes me to have a mental breakdown at least once a day…on top of an overload of classes at a university that curses me with a financial responsibility I don’t know I will be able to carry through.
It’s hard to get out of bed. The worst kind of sickness is a disease that consumes your mind. So you might have regular mental illnesses, and then you have mental illnesses caused by HD, and then you have to carry the burden of being a caretaker, finishing school, and becoming sick yourself. Not to mention the fear of never finding a husband who wants to deal with your degradation; and even if you were to find someone, you would have to carry the guilt of handing him the responsibility of taking care of you.
And what about kids? I’ll be 24 in two weeks, and I was always sure that I’d be married with kids by now. But to ensure that they are healthy costs more money than the debt I’ve surrendered to in exchange for an education. I’m only growing older.
Time is my greatest enemy. You can’t fight him. There is no winning. And the worst part is, people attempt to provide comfort in the phrase, “It’s all in your head.”
I can’t imagine feeling worse. I can’t imagine being taken care of. I had a dream that I was in the later stages, and it was horrible. I couldn’t even tell my dad “I love you.” I couldn’t stop moving. There was no rest. And I am petrified.
The only comfort I find is in my HD community. I find solace in reading other people’s stories and knowing that I’m not alone. I love all of you more than you can imagine because we are the same. We understand each other, and empathy is HD’s greatest reward. It has given me a family.
Give this a read. It might help uplift your spirits: http://capturingthecorners.com/2016/05/13/an-open-letter-to-caretakers-from-the-cared-for/
I sure hope I can remember this when I’m caring for my mama. Great article. XOXO
Thank you for your lovely thoughts. Blessings to you!!!!
So sorry for the loss of your friend Laurie. I lost a friend recently to pancreatic cancer. She was here one day, vibrant and so full of life, and 5 months later gone. I watched her husband of 60+ years tend to her every need, lovingly. This brings everything into perspective, doesn’t it?
Yes, LuAnn keeps EVERYTHING in perspective!! Thanks for your visit.
We all go now roads that sometimes we do not understand. At some point we may cross paths with others and that is where light may be attained. Hopefully a good light, but not always . We can learn so much from others. One day at a time -one day.
So sorry to read this, Laurie. A beautiful tribute to your friend.
Laurie, when I was ill during late 2013/14 & 15 my man, who had been used to a very energetic ‘dance competition partner’, and overall energy whizz become bed bound. His attention to me was unparalleled. If ever there was a living saint, it was he. To be on the receiving end of such love is overwhelming. One thing that now strikes me is his demeanour. He now does not worry as once he did. He is calm, where once he’d panic. So many small, though not insignificant things about him have changed. I think what I am trying to say is: We both benefited so very much by our mutual experience. Love is indeed the bravest energy there is…
Beautiful thoughts …and image, Laurie.
This sure makes us think.
Huntington’s … dreadful.
Your friend? Incredible.
Peace to you, Laurie
Thank You Laurie…Yes, my friend is incredible!
Laurie, what a beautiful tribute to your friend and to amazing love.
Blessings ~ Wendy
What a humbling experience. So sorry to hear about your friend’s husband.
Beautiful tribute, sending my thoughts of comfort.
Profound questions and a beautiful image, Laurie. I’m sure you’re right when you say “but, you never know until you are put to the test.” Condolences to your dear friend.
I was at the funeral of a blogging friend yesterday, Laurie.
I have nothing but admiration for your friend. I can be extremely grumpy just in normal, everyday circumstances.
Laurie, Very touching sentiment.
Peace and heavenly reward to your special friend. 🙂
I am so very sorry, Laurie. xo.
Very sorry to read of your and your friends loss – strength comes to those who ask. Bless her heart for she honored her vows to husband, an example for many.
I am sorry to hear about your friend’s husband. Some people are just angles on earth. No other way to describe them. 🙂
We just had the same. Friends we met 18 years ago, her husband passed away last week. He went very quickly, and was only 61. So sad. You are right, it sure puts life into perspective, and just to cherish loved ones. So sorry for your friends loss. It is good that she has a good friend in you.
So sorry for your friends loss! God is shining down on her for her strength! That is so awesome she is so devoted! Hugz Lisa and Bear
Beautiful tribute Laurie
Sending some good vibes your way… Yes funerals are something ..they tend to put everything in perspective for sure. Yep, I wonder too , how I would handle something like that. .
So sorry for your loss and what your friend is going through…still.
I am sorry to hear about your friend’s loss. You have a beautiful write up about her.
A Proverbs 31 woman for sure! So sorry for your loss.
Laurie, what a beautiful tribute to both of your friends.
So sorry for you and your friend’s loss.
The wife is a very beautiful woman Laurie. Awe inspiring. I am sure she has a special place in His kingdom. ❤️
Hugs for you, Laurie