Why Is It Hard To Make Friends…

Why Is It Hard To Make Friends Over 30?

By: Alex Williams (New York Times)

Click on the title link and read this VERY interesting article and come back here and weigh in your thoughts. Have you, too, found it hard to make new friends  after college? Do you wish you had more close friends these days? Do you ever find it awkward to “To Set up a Date With A New Acquaintance?”

In the article…a few statements resounded with me…”You resign yourself to SITUATIONAL friends!” The interviewee says, “I have a cocktail friend and a book friend and a parenting friend and several basketball friends and a neighbor friend and a workout friend.”  “It’s much easier filling in those gaps in my life,” she added, “than doing an exhaustive approach for a new friend.”

I can totally relate to this…with working full time, I don’t have the energy to find just the perfect few friends, that can fit the whole bill of all of my interests. So with that said, I too have the game friends, book friends, going out to dinner friends, work friends, blogging friends etc. It does give you a lot of variety of people to add richness in your life. Plus, I have found…it takes the pressure off of a couple of friends to be the “ALL” for you.

Can you relate to this article? It has had thousands of hits, in the last few days!

Let me hear you thoughts on this stage of your life?

Happy Friday,

7 thoughts on “Why Is It Hard To Make Friends…

  1. This has been on my mind so much, lately! I agree with a lot of what has been said…and I’ve always been one who has taken “the road less traveled by.” Less traffic and passers by are fewer. But I just finished an amazing, thought-provoking book called The Digital Invasion. It talks about how the digital world has changed society, our relationships, and even the way our brains are working. Wish we could all sit down over coffee/tea and talk this over face to face all afternoon… 🙂

  2. I wish to add this. I have said before that I have a group of friends at church where we meet every tuesday. I can not tell you how much this group means to me. We have shared with such depth, but none of us would invite the others to dinner. I do not know what this says about me or our times.

  3. Friends are so important! I feel lucky at this stage of my life to have the friends I have. Whether they are long term, situational or just mere aquaintances along the way. They enrich your life, may cause hard ache, but hopefully we learn from those friendships. I have always told my daughter that you are very lucky when you get to be Mom’s age to have 5 true friends. But I certainly do have many more than 5. I truly think you have to give of yourself and take a chance when the opportunities arise.
    When I moved to Fl. for most of the year 7 yrs. ago I knew 1 person. Wow, what friends I have made since then. How lucky I am. Thanks, friends!!!

  4. I am really ok with situational friends. I find that I have so many interests and likes that nobody is going to fit into every aspect of my life, except my husband and my daughter, and I like it that way.

  5. Very interesting article, I’m in my late 50’s and I have very few friends, my college friends have disappeared and the friends I made when the children were little have drifted away. I have come to the conclusion as you and the article have suggested is that friendship is based on the moment you have reached in your life, like Sally I to am a little off centre a bit of a hippy that likes my children’s music and sense of humour rather than my peers .

  6. Good subject. I am in my 70’s and it is really hard to make friends. I live in a place where there are mainly retirees. I moved here and started going to different clubs and interest groups. The book club wanted to read Romance novels. I was beyond that. The more quirky you are, the harder it is to fit in. I also think that times have gotten so politically correct, that we can not talk to one another. And if you spend a lot of time at your computer, you do not have that much time for making friends. At my age you are trying to keep up the the hard times of the few people who are your friends.

  7. I’ve actually given this subject a lot of thought over the years. Lucky me to have many of my good friends relocate from NJ here with me to Ft. Myers, FLA. I’ve also made lots of new and wonderful friends in southwest FLA. Sometimes the circles overlap….bonus for me! Like I learned in Girls Scouts many decades ago……”make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold!”

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